Having your dog on your bed is not in and of itself a mistake. The whole "it makes them equal to us in their eyes" is old thinking and not part of our current understanding of dog training. Anyone who is still passing you information like this has not updated their thinking in a while!
We no longer need to worry about ranking or "alpha" or "omega" when living with and training our dogs. All we need to do is train for the behaviors we want. Not only can't we control what is in the dogs mind, we can never know it.
How do you even know what alpha is, anyway? Does getting off say, "I defer to you and I am omega here, giving you the bed," or does it say "I am alpha here and choose to let you have the bed to yourself, for I am magnanimous." You never, I repeat, never know what is in a dog's mind and we shouldn't include our suppositions about it in our training program.
Train for the behaviors you want, help your dog overcome her fears, bond with her and help her understand you are benevolent and will give her structure, and stop worrying about status, rank, dominance, submission (in fact, I will go so far as to say you can banish them from your vocabulary) and read as much of the *current* and *positive* literature on dog training as you can!
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